Changing Spaces: The Loathing and the Loving, Part 1

A simple office move turns into a battle between loathing and loving. Which side will emerge victorious? I suppose it’s up to me.

The Loathing:

After several years in the same place, my department at work is moving from the first floor to the second floor. In keeping with the intent of this blog and the intent of my life view, I’m generally an upbeat person but, in this case, I’ve found a sense of dread creeping upon me. Quietly and completely. It started when our new cube configuration was posted on the wall this week. To be honest, I hate my new location. It’s not just that I hate moving, which I do, but I have several valid reasons for hating this new location. It’s just outside my boss’ office just off a main walkway. Now, I love my boss but she’s got a lot of traffic going in and out of her office and people love to stand and talk in main walkways. I’m as social as anybody but I do enjoy quiet especially when I’m working on a tough project. I don’t want to have to listen to the endless conference calls and meetings and all the other hubbub. Soon, I noticed another feeling creeping up on me to accompany my dread: envy! I started to look at the cubes of my friends who were “better situated” than I. Cubes in low-traffic locations next to windows and the gentle breeze of perfectly positioned and regulated air conditioning vents. I began to calculate how they might have acquired such prime real estate. Perhaps they are more valued than I. Maybe they were secretly given a choice of the best spots. The negativity spread in my mind like wildfire and soon, I not only suspected I would hate where I was sitting, I knew I would. Also, my envy would progress into resentment of my workmates and potentially sour my relationships. The funny thing is that this would all occur in my mind before moving even a shred of paper.

The Loving:

Life is good. I choose to believe that this is true with no exceptions. Life is change. You can’t have one without the other. So, if life is good and life is change then, change is good.

No matter how things appear to me and my limited view, there is an overarching goodness to life that can be enjoyed at all times. There have been countless occasions where an event that I originally judged as bad transformed over time to something I would not only consider to be good but would be grateful for. What lies in that space between that original judgment and eventual gratitude? Misery, discord and confusion. Is it possible to cut out the middle-man of misery and go straight to “Thank you!” for everything that happens in my life knowing that it is all for my good? Knowing that each change in my life only affirms life itself.

The Experiment:

I’m changing my thoughts about this move. Contrary to all the evidence I have previously detailed, I choose to see and experience this move as a blessing that is only occurring to bring me more good. When I have thoughts to the contrary, I will remind myself that this is simply not true based on what I know about the nature of life. I expect the Universe rise and support my beliefs. I will feel this support in a decrease and eventual disappearance of my dread, hatred, envy and resentment. These feelings will be replaced by love and gratitude of the present moment. That’s my theory, anyway.

As this is Part 1 of this topic, I plan to check in with periodic updates and let you know how this is going and what feelings are coming up. In the meantime, feel free to experiment along with me and choose a seemingly negative event in your own life and cut out your middle-man of misery.

Dragonflies

I was attending a graduation ceremony with my wife, Heather, recently. It was a perfect summer day and I noticed there was an abundance of dragonflies floating around the crowd. “Look at all the dragonflies, babe.” I said in amazement. “They’re good luck, you know.” she replied.

This was the first time I had heard that dragonflies were good luck and a funny thing happened after that. I changed the way I looked at dragonflies. They were no longer simply cool looking insects with big heads and a wide wingspan. For no other reason than just hearing that they were regarded as lucky, I started to see them as lucky, too. I started making note of when I saw them and began to expect good luck to come my way. Invariably, it always did. I would get into an interesting conversation or I’d find the perfect parking spot or I could get stuck in traffic and realize that I narrowly missed an accident because I was delayed. It could be just about anything. It helps that my idea of good becomes more flexible the more I’m expecting it.

I eventually noticed that seeing a dragonfly caused me to have a heightened sense of my impending blessing. By this, I mean that I knew that when I saw a dragonfly, or anything else that I deemed lucky, good things would happen and so, that is what I saw. Even the things that I might initially see as bad, required closer scrutiny to find the good that was surely there. I started to ponder the very nature of luck and my own role in it’s interpretation. Like many, I’ve gone through my life labeling objects, conditions and even other people as lucky or unlucky. I thought it was perceptive of me to notice certain qualities, recognize their nature and categorize them properly. Of course, this was bolstered by the fact that I was rarely wrong. Little did I know, I was loading the deck. Unconsciously rigging the game.

The truth is that when I peered in to the random soup of conditions that surround me, I find what I believe. If I believe all signs point to misfortune, I will surely find it. When I know good is present, I see it all around me. I have the power to infuse even more totems as lucky to enhance my feeling of good. With practice, could I even view my very existence as luck itself? Am I the recipient of a constant barrage of blessings? I suppose it’s up to me to believe it and find it to be true.